Things I never thought I'd hear myself say

"OK.... Now where is Jesus' thumb?"

[silence while they search around on the ground]

"It's here..."

[bends down to pick it up]

"...and here."

[bends down to pick up the rest of it.]

I attempt to reattach the extremities. So much for "Not one of his bones will be broken." If the super glue doesn't work our Easter scene will be Biblically inaccurate. The finger gets set and I yell out my second improbable phrase:

"NO ONE HOLD JESUS' HAND UNTIL IT'S DRY!"

Next day:

I hear a crash.

"What fell?" I yell from the other room.

"Ty broke something." Jack answers.

"I broke the head."

"Whose head?"

"The guy who breaks heads."

Must have been the Roman soldier.