That was the pep talk I was giving to myself at 10:59 this morning as I drove home from Jack's school. I had arrived an hour early for the party I was trying to attend.
"Learn how to read the handouts. Is it that hard? No. It's not. But clearly you are having trouble."
Yes. I was. I'd been excited about going to this Christmas party for weeks. I'd talked to a friend about keeping my little ones, but then we all got sick. Then as a last resort I asked Mike if he could watch them and he could! I couldn't believe it. He was scheduled to fly a night flight tonight so he didn't have to go in to work till 3:00. He didn't mind staying home with the kids while I went to the party.
"But I could have sworn that both handouts we got last week said the party would start at 10:50. Right, sure you could. But you were wrong. Wrong. Just like with last month's party when you sent the pumpkin pie on the wrong day. That teacher must think Jack gets all his cognitive ability from his dad. Actually, he probably does."
Now I was headed home for 45 minutes to fix the kids lunch and check on the baby. Mike came down with the man flu yesterday --worst case I'd ever seen. He was useless. I had intended on leaving the kids with Mike. What I actually did was leave Mike with the kids. I felt they could take care of him for 45 minutes. I'd already given him his vitamin C and a heating pad. He'd survive while I was gone.
"I wonder if she bought it. Does she actually think I dropped by just to check and make sure the party is today? Or does she know I came at the wrong time because I can't keep anything straight? What again did I say when I walked in? Oh yes... 'Is the party today? Cause I'm always afraid I'll get the days mixed up.' Ha! I'll bet she was thinking: 'Girl, you DO always get the days mixed up.' Whatever. I'm raising four boys. Give me a break.... Maybe she did actually buy it. I mean, she responded with: 'Ohh! You can always text me if you want.' (As if the FOUR handouts weren't enough). Oh well."
I got home. The boys were fine. Ty's eyes blurry from the amount of TV he had watched this morning. Austin had helped himself to the Danish Butter Cookies and had the tin sitting on the tray of Brady's walker --which he had confiscated. That kid is a genius. He knew this was the day to help himself to a box full of sugary goodness. Who would stop him? Brady was still napping and Mike was up and dressed! What? He was on death's doorstep when I left him. Crazy what a vitamin C can do for you. I made some lunches then left again 25 minutes later. I'm glad we only live 4 minutes from the school.
"Oh great. Now I have to walk back in and act like everything is going according to the plans. Don't blow it Becca. If you can't get it together, then at least learn to act. I hope I'm not the only one not in my PJs. What? Why are you so nervous? It's a Kindergarten party. For your son. How is this scary? Now, park here and go on in. Wait. Is that Jack's class out playing? Yes it is. Why aren't they inside getting ready for the parents? Is this the right day?"
Yes it was. A few minutes later the kids filed into the classroom for the party. I went on in and stood near Jack's table and waited.
"Well here I am. Now what do I do with my hands? And my purse. Should I put it down? Should I sit down? Can we talk in here? No one's talking. This is awkward. Wait, that kid is. He's talking to me. Never mind. He's just telling on the girl next to him for touching the supplies on the table. Apparently this is a no touching, no talking, stand still and hold your purse type of party.... Oh good, one of the moms is about to get this thing moving."
Jack and the kids were soon busy putting together a foam picture frame. I got to help Jack's tablemates. Yay! My hands had something to do! The kids photos were sweet. Jack's, however, looked like a surprise picture. You know what a surprise picture is. It's when you turn around and "poof!" someone takes a picture of you. "Surprise! I just took your picture!" We will be laughing at this one for quite a while. I need to make sure it always gets returned to the Christmas box each year.
"Speaking of photos. Take some. It doesn't seem to be uncool. Who really knows though. I'll just pull my phone out and look like I'm checking facebook or something. No one will ever know I'm taking a picture. ...except that the flash was turned on. hmm. That's par for the day no doubt."
The party was great. There were crafts, the kids put together their own mix of munchies, and they each brought a book for the book exchange. I nearly teared up when the sweet little boy sitting to Jack's left looked at his present and exclaimed, "Mine is from 'Emma!' Emma! Thank you! Thank you for the present!" It was so so sweet. True thankfulness. He thanked her even before he opened it.
We walked down to the cafeteria for lunch. I sat with Jack while he ate. I made him eat the green beans. He likes green beans, but this was school and Mom's not usually at school so it didn't occur to him to eat them.
I think Jack was glad I came. He better have been after the stress it caused me! But that raised eyebrow grin says it all.
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