Like I said a couple posts ago, I've got a couple more people around here (all the time) now...
And, I'll be real with ya'll for a moment.
It's throwing off my groove.
This happens every time Mike gets back from deployment.
I'm used to being the boss. I've got my schedule, my way of doing things and then next thing you know somebody who out ranks me gets transferred back home and... it's just... it's just hard.
It's hard to give up my way.
One moment you think you're soooo selfless. You watch the kids alone, for months on end. You keep the home fires burning. You patch up knees and hold the bowl while a little one throws up.
As far as giving of yourself goes, you are pretty much on the same level as Mother Teresa and Angelina Jolie. The song "I Give You my All" could have been written with you in mind. Come to think of it, it probably was.
Service is your thing. No one gives like you give.
You think this is the end of the story until one morning you wake up, trip over a pair of size 10 sneakers and everything hits the fan. "WHY ARE THESE HERE!?!?" or maybe "CAN NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE REPLACE THE TOILET PAPER ROLL!" You're instantly in a bad mood that could potentially last for days. The most random things upset you. It's not plesant.
"If Mama ain't happy, nobodies happy." And that's where we've been.
That's where I've been.
It's not pretty. I've been easily irritated and just plain rude. I'll say something and then think, "Why did I just say that? That was so rude."
It's pathetic really.
You realized just how bad it's gotten when you have a conversation with your child that goes like this:
Setting: Dad is driving in the Ozarks and decides to switch the van into a lower gear.
Ty: "Mom, What's a gear?"
Me: "It's a... how fast the engine goes in a car, or something like that. The lower gears are better for driving in hills and when you drive slow. (pause) Ty, one day you will probably know more about it then I do, then you can teach me."
Ty: "But Mom, you will be in heaven by then."
Mike and I chuckle at how old he must think we are about the same time as Jack leans over and whispers to Ty:
I am a sinner who has been redeemed. I love serving and being a part of the body of Christ. I am the wife of an Air Force Navigator.
I am kept busy by my four little boys. My husband and I long to be useful to God. We pray that our sons would one day forsake all to follow Jesus.