Minivans: as sexy as we make them

More on the defense of the minivan...

This is an article from Gordan Keith. From: 12:00 AM CDT on Thursday, April 2, 2009

And... I have edited it. I just couldn't put it on my family friendly blog the way it was written. It's still a bit much, but I think it's ok... See below:


I'm a car nut. I love all kinds of cars, and wish I were rich enough to own one of every model ever made. Let's see. It's Wednesday and sunny? I think I should like to have my driver carry me to work in the 1978 Subaru Brat. I'll be strapped in the outdoor, rear-facing seat, like a tail-gunner on the lookout for tie fighters while he plugs in an 8-track of Neil Diamond.

Life ****** (verb): spending money on impractical things and pretending to live in ages other than your own.

There is one vehicle that receives more than its fair share of derision – the well-appointed minivan. I don't understand it. Why would we single out one of the most practical and kick-butt types of vehicles ever invented for the kind of hatred we normally reserve for boy bands?

I swear, I would do better to defend the Taliban at a cocktail party than the minivan. Stay-at-home mothers will convince their trophy husbands to buy them a $50,000 SUV just to avoid what they really need, which is a $30,000 minivan, because the American female sees the minivan as the death of sexiness. [...] She just hates the van.

The Symbolizing of American automotive females began with the station wagon. In the day, every family who loved [kids] had a station wagon in the garage. It was a great kid hauler and capable of carrying massive quantities of family paraphernalia. Moms loved its practicality almost as much as dating teenagers despised its hearse styling. [...] Finally, when the wagon became a symbol of domestic, unsexy bliss, women hated them. Then, in 1984, the death of the station wagon came in the breadbox form of the minivan. Station wagon sales plummeted and minivans began their evolution into the greatest highway vehicle that didn't have "conversion" in its title.

But did the woman celebrate the sexy warrior that killed her station wagon? No, she merely transferred her hatred to it. Why?

I don't pretend to understand women, I just pretend to sleep with a lot of them. Preferably in roomy minivans.

SWAGGER WAGON

This is pretty funny.

When I was a mom of one, I still felt pretty young and hip. Young and hip? The out of date term should give you an idea of where I'm going with this.

When I had two kids I told everyone how old I felt so that I could then hear, "No Becca, you are SOOO young. You look great. You're still really cool. You're not old at all." I felt old but was not completely convinced, and it somehow made me believe that my youth was a reality when I heard people tell me that all the time.

Now.

Three kids.

Cool? What is that?

Know what the latest movies, music or styles are?

Doubt it.

I had just about come to the reality that I was in fact past my prime.

But then...

I saw this video.

HOPE

No, actually he is correct

The 5th time the boys came out of their room tonight they were instructed that I wanted them to stay in bed and I'd see them again tomorrow.

10 minutes later...

Jack sheepishly comes out of his room and looks in the computer room, where I was working.

"Mom."

"Yes Jack."

"Ty is saying something wrong."
Jack is obviously looking for either an excuse to get out of bed or an opportunity to get his brother in trouble.

[Ty appears with a grin on his face.]

"What did Ty say?"

"He said I was in trouble."

"You're not, but you will be if you come out here again."

Ty: "But he he he he bite my finger."

[holds up finger]

Me: "Jack did you bite Ty's finger?"

Jack: "Uh-huh."

Me: "Well then Ty's right, you are in trouble."

Things my parents have taught me --sleep

I never actually "got it" until I read the book by Carolyn Mahaney titled: Feminine Appeal, but I know my mom and dad taught me to go to bed at a reasonable time and to wake ready to work.

Mom definitely modeled it. My whole life Mom has woken early and was hard at work long before my eyes opened. Now, thirty years after her first child was born, she still wakes early and is worn out by night. She has mentioned how she would love to be able to stay up with us and play games, watch movies or talk. But that wise woman has trained her body to sleep at night so that she can be up and ready to serve in the mornings.

Now check out the words by Martha Peace that Carolyn quotes in her book. These words really made me stop and rethink how I spend my time. See what you think, but careful they hurt a bit.

I have heard of women who pride themselves on being "night people." That means they have trouble getting up in the mornings because they come alive at night. They may stay up to all hours reading, watching television or pursing some sort of interest. The next morning they are too tired to get up and care for the family....

These women are not "night people." They are lazy and selfish. Who would not rather stay up late and do whatever they pleased and sleep late the next day?

Once a young wife begins getting up earlier than her children and her husband, she will cease to be a "night person." She will be tired at night and go to bed at a reasonable hour so she will be there to serve her family the next morning.

Carolyn continues with this:

So what time should we go to sleep or wake up each day? That can be determined by knowing how much sleep we need to pursue daily communion with God, care for our husbands and children, and manage the duties of our home. This is applying self-control as it relates to sleep.

Now I must add an addendum for all moms with young children who wake up in the middle of the night. For you, sleep may feel like a lost commodity. However, I can assure you, your children will grow, and eventually you will be able to return to normal sleeping patterns. In the meantime, try to get what sleep you can.

It's convenient... so sue me.

Jack may have taken the whole, "You can potty outside sometimes" directive a bit too far.

The other day we were at the park with some friends and a lady (who was there with a daycare) comes up and says,
"Excuse me, there is a little boy over there peeing."

I think she meant,
"Hey you! I know that is your kid and he is peeing in front of my 20 YMCA girls... and I don't appreciate it."

So, in lieu of recent events (the above mentioned one was not exclusive) I decided to brief the boys before arriving at Mom and Dad's house this weekend. The girl cousins would be there and I didn't want them being exposed.

"Boys, when we get to Gigi and Pop's house, you need to remember to go pee-pee in the house. Make sure you close all the doors so you will have privacy. Jack, you may go by yourself, but Ty you need to take a grownup in with you."

Ty mumbles something about him being a big boy. I don't think he heard anything else I said. He was bothered that I didn't think he could do it alone.

I continue, "Boys, I don't want you going potty outside. There will be girls at Gigi's house and we don't go potty in the grass when other people are around."

Jack's eyes light up as he thinks of another suggestion: "And, and, and... we should not go pee-pee on the flowers, because, because, because, if you put the flower in your hair, that would be gross!"

"Yes. It would be. Thank you Jack."


Boys.

I really should be napping right now.

I should.

We've been doing well the last few days, I've had little sleep but am physically feeling great. I'm much less tired than when I was pregnant. I am sleepy and have a permanent fuzzy head probably equivalent to one drink. Now I know why everyone makes such a big deal about drinking and driving. I've run two red lights since baby has been here. I'm not talking about the kind where you think you can make it through the intersection while the light is still yellow, I'm talking about the kind that gets you t-boned. Two times it didn't register in my brain that the light was red.

Scary.

Mom, don't panic.

I'm trying to focus in on traffic signals better.

For those of you at church who have asked how I was doing and I've sensed that you genuinely are interested, we are doing well. I've got more to do than I have time to do. I'm spending more time with each of the big boys, reading books or sitting with them while they watch TV (about the only time I can get them to sit in my lap without running off). Then sweet Austin, he doesn't need much, but I do hold him when nursing and then when he's awake I try to give good eye contact and talk to him. I'm learning to leave the mess and instead tend to the kids, before there was time for both. Now, I'll choose sleep over cleaning, and currently I'm choosing blogging over sleep and cleaning. (Yes, you should feel special.)

The last thing before I go:

Mike's grandpa passed away early this morning. He suddenly became very very ill last week and they found out he had cancer. Mike flew out Monday morning to San Diego to be with him, as did Mike's mom and sister. I'm thankful that Mike got to go see him again and wish I could have gone too. It was so sudden that we didn't have time to plan and felt it would be best for me to stay here with the boys. Please pray for: Row, Bobby, Eddie, Gina, Scott, Eileen and the grandkids as we are mourning the loss of our grandpa.

One last last thing:

Ty is doing a bit better. Thank you for praying for him as he transitions to being the middle kid. Continue to pray for him, but know that I can see a difference! Praise God!

5 free minutes...

Oh the stories I have... I've got at least 3 blog posts in my head, the small details of which, slowly slipping out of my memory. If I only had time to write them down!

Of all the weeks to not have MDO...

Just want to QUICKLY tell you three things I've heard in the last 24 hours:

Jack:
"Hey Mom, come watch me and Ty get on the car roof."

Me:
"Have you gotten up there before?"

Jack:
"Yes!"

*************************************

Jack has taken to watching the weather channel. He loves the "map" part (Doppler radar) when he can see all the states and the towns. Today he was watching it and reported to me the forecast for the week.

"It's going to be two sunnys and a bunch of rainys."

*************************************

This morning:

Jack:
"Mom, there's a cat in the house."

Me:
"OK Jack.. la dada da da..."

Cat:
"Meeeeoooowwww"

Me:
"There's a cat in the house?!?! Oh, right now?"

Jack:
"I'm going to keep him, he will be my cat!"

Me:
"No."

The last 10 days

have been busy.

Wow. I had no idea it would require this much time to take care of three boys.

Makes me wonder how I'm going to do it when all the help leaves.

Mike and I were alone with the guys for most of the days Austin was in the NICU. That was the most exhausting time so far in our "married with children life."

I'd go to the hospital at 9, 3, and 9 (usually for an hour or two) to feed and hang out with the little guy. All the other time I was home being with my two "big" boys. Mike did an amazing job with the guys, the house and the laundry. I was impressed. But still, it was so tiring. I can't even imagine having a child up there for weeks and weeks. I don't know how those families do it.

But then, Mom came back to help when we brought Austin home. It was so nice to have her around. Mom, Mike told me to tell you thanks for coming and helping with the kids. It was really nice to have you here. Or something very similar.... Sorry, I forgot to tell you.

Mike left on Friday for a TDY (temporary duty) with the air force. He'll be back in a couple of weeks.

I know right? Pretty funny. He tried to get out of it, but couldn't.*

Hannah to the rescue. It's so so wonderful to have a Hannah. It's like your own personal super hero.

Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird. It's a plane. It's... SUPERHANNAH!

Don't tell her but I'm praying against her finding a job.

Shhhh!

Well, since this post has been somewhat or mostly boring, I'll just end this asking you guys for a specific prayer request.

Ty.

He hit the terrible twos about a month ago, or it could be all the change that has happened recently: Dad back from deployment, dethroned as the baby, mom gone for a week (at hospital), brother home, Gigi here, Dad gone, Gigi gone, Hannah back.

Whatever the cause of the psychological issues, Ty has been very defiant lately. I feel like I've lost control of him. He always has an idea of how he wants everything to happen and often it is not the same idea I have. When things don't go his way, he melts into a puddle on the floor. It provokes similar feelings in me.

I feel like I am not parenting him the right way, all the things I am trying aren't working. So pray for wisdom for me especially while Mike is away. He will possibly be taking another week long trip 5 days after getting back from this one.

Thanks everybody.



*Mike does not often try to "get out of things." He really needed to stay here at the base to accomplish some work that needed to be done. He was not trying to get out of work. Just the trip.