Thursday, April 19, 2012

It's what we do.

Dear Friends,
The other day I asked you to please help me with a parenting problem we were having. Several of you have either left comments on the post or have called me directly and shared helpful ideas.
My friend, Melene, shared this with me:

I saw this quote recently and I think it goes along with the thoughts you are having. "Your children will become what you are. So be what you want them to be."

I've really been thinking about that.

I've been thinking of it in regard to my failures. I asked God to show me where I was leaving a poor example for my children. And, as He always does, He responded when asked for help. He loves me too much to let me stay miserable in my sins. He wants to help me have victory over them. He told me:

"Patience. Patience, Becca. It could use some improvement, wouldn't you say?"

"Yes Lord, I'd say so."

How many times a day do I say, "Hurry up." "Come on." "Let's go."

I rush these little guys from activity to activity. "Hurry up and set the table." "Eat your food." "Clean up the table quickly." "Hurry up to nap time." "Hurry out to play." "Clean your room, I'm coming to check it in 5 minutes."

I want our boys to be quick workers. All the time I tell them, "Let's do our work fast so we don't have to spend all day working. The quicker it's done, the quicker we can go play." I don't think this is a bad concept, but I must consider how much I am hurrying them along with their whole life.

Their daddy is patient. He doesn't rush me. He never asks me to hurry (unless I'm running errands and leave a nursing baby at home).

I want our boys to be patient fathers and husbands as is their dad. I get to reap the blessing of having a patient husband. It's good. It promotes peace in our home. It's always a more relaxed atmosphere with Mike here. I'd hate for them to grow up and end up where I currently am. What a stressful environment their homes would be. I know their wives wouldn't appreciate it.

I'm now working hard at working slower :-)

I'm going through my mental list of all I want accomplished and cutting it in half for the day. I'm going to do less. I'm going to stop my hands and turn my face to my children when they ask me questions. I'm going to listen better and give better answers. I'm going to deviate from my plans when I see moments that can be used to serve or teach them.

Like Melene said, "Your children will become what you are. So be what you want them to be."

I want there to be undeniable evidence of my sons' love for God shown through the way they treat people.

If I rush around all the time I will be training them to rush around all the time.

If I train them to rush around all the time, they will miss opportunities to serve.

Yesterday, right off the bat, God allowed me to see an opportunity to help my children learn to serve.

We had three men here, framing the foundation of the addition we are putting on our home. It was 11:15 so I asked the men if I could make them lunch. They allowed it :-) The boys excitedly wanted to help. I allowed it. --Which is a big deal for me, because I hate chaos in the kitchen.

Ty sliced cheese, Jack made lemonade, and washed the fruit. I pulled out the ham from last night and sliced the fresh bread. We made them a feast! The boys washed the table on the deck and then set it with plates, napkins, plastic ware, butter, fruit, a pitcher of lemonade and their plates full of food.

As guys got to serve these men, we talked about loving like Jesus. We didn't have much cheese and we gave it all to the guys. We talked about sharing everything you have. We talked about giving your best, not your leftovers (I didn't bring up the fact that the ham we all ate was a left-over.)

I wonder how many opportunities I have missed in my haste? My to do list should not be the first thing on my mind. His commandments are to be. We are to impress them on our children. Talking about them when we sit at home and when we walk along the road. If God tells us to do this, how many opportunities will he provide?

The point of this post is not to tell you how bad I am at patience, nor is it to brag about the strides I am taking to have victory over this sin, the point is this: Encouragement.

I am to encourage my children. I am to encourage you. You are to encourage me.

Melene could have sat at her computer, read my blog post and thought, "this reminds me of that quote..." And done nothing more. BUT! Her choice to share those words with me encouraged me. They encouraged me to encourage my children...

and to encourage you... to encourage others.


Melene, Thank you for encouraging me toward righteousness.


Rebecca said...

I SO needed this reminder... thank you Becca and your wonderful friend Melanie for sharing with us both! I do want my children to be what I am... but honestly not what I am right now! Thank you for that!!! I need to BE better and to take the time and not always rush around (which is what I feel like I am now ALWAYS doing)

Anonymous said...

I love this! Man.. I am going to need to remember all of you, and your friends wise words for when I am a mommy :)

To God be the glory... said...


Anonymous said...

Outstanding posts lately Bec!
Thanks for sharing encouragement and sweet moments with the boys.

Anonymous said...

Very good words. As I am trying to figure this whole 'parenting' thing out. (I am with you on the parade for mom thing, we will be the second float, or maybe the blimp?) that is a really great thing to think on and then put into action those things the Lord impresses on you!


Katherine said...

Thanks so much for this post, Becca! It is something I have been thinking on for last couple of months.