If only

Do you ever get an idea in your head of something that would make your life, "Oh so much better?"

You know, something that would really change your life if you had it. Let's say you're a single car family. "If we only got a second car... that would make life so much better."

Or maybe you were like my mom and dreamed of a clean garage and a working automatic garage door opener --complete with a remote. "Oh that would make life so much better." (Yes, I am putting the words in her mouth.)

Or maybe, like our family, you are a military family. Maybe you, like us, are constantly being disturbed by the upheaval of the daddy. One deployment after another, months passing, grey hairs and children growing, adjustments, change... "If only there was some stability in our home... that would make life so much better."

Today has been one of many days over the last year where I've had an "If only" day.

It's border line obsessive.

Nothing like parenting alone on a snow day to make these feelings rise, yet again to the surface.

"If only I had an espresso maker... that would make life so much better."

[slowly nodding]

Yes.

I've been obsessed with this idea for over a year now. No kidding, ask Hannah. Last deployment I spent hours looking online, checking craigslist and ebay.

Is it too much to ask for?

A top-of-the-line, fully automatic, "precision of a barista with the touch of a single button" espresso machine? One that in no time at all, grinds the beans, brews one or two cups of espresso to my exact specifications and ejects the used grounds?

It would transform morning coffee into a culinary experience.

I would get up early, make me a latte and then sit down with Jesus. I can't think of a more perfect way to spend the six o'clock hour.

Currently it's just me, Jesus and coffee from a $9.99 Mr. Coffee.

sigh... think of how much better my quiet time would be if I had Jesus AND a latte?

I'd probably start speaking in tongues.

I'll bet all those charismatics drink lattes with Jesus.

That's why they are always so... charismatic.

"If only...."

If only I wasn't a quality snob and would except nothing less than a really nice one.

Earlier today, Jack came in from playing in the snow and asked for some hot chocolate (twice in fact).

"Sure!" was my reply. Then I thought: "If only I had an espresso machine and could use it to steam the milk."

If only....

Again and again I think about how handy it would be. How my life would change.

I'd probably have more friends.

Who wouldn't want to come over to my house, shew the children to the back playroom, plop down on the couch and have a coffee house beverage delivered to them? And I wouldn't even charge them. I'd be busier than Starbucks. I bet I could even trade babysitting for espressos. They'd be breaking down the door.

If only....