"Anything that can go wrong during a deployment, will go wrong."
Ask any wife who has ever gone through a deployment.
ANY military wife.
As soon as the plane takes off, the ship weighs anchor or the bus rolls away, you turn to get back in your car and it won't start.
Don't be alarmed if this ever happens to you, it's completely natural.
Then you'll arrive home to find you have a busted pipe, your floor is buried under two inches of water and the dog is eating your couch.
So your first phone call will go like this:
"Hi Honey! You made it there safely? Oh good. Well, I'm glad you called! We're all doing fine, but we do have a few household issues. The _____ won't start and the _____ is leaking some weird looking fluid. Oh the check engine light came on in the ____. Then later this morning the ____ went out. Did we buy the warranty for that? I can't remember. By the way, when was the last time you saw our property insurance documents? I need to call the insurance company."
And that's how it goes.
How's the status at our house? Funny you should ask. As of right now:
- The kitchen faucet won't work.
- Jack's got a weird rash.
- The dishwasher won't work.
- The boys bathroom tub won't work.
- The dryer's broke.
- The check engine light is on in the van.
- The baby smells nasty despite the fact that he got a bath yesterday.
- The roads are frozen over and it would be foolish to leave the house with the children (we're going on day three of house arrest.)
Know what would make this all better?