Grace

I cannot hardly stop smiling.

I'm having to force myself not to smile right now because I'm trying to write. I can't write and smile at the same time. I have to have my "game face" on or I won't make any since.

It's been 4 days now.

Four days of relief.

God lifted everything off of my shoulders and renewed my spirit. It's so nice to have funny things pop into my head again.

Sunday at church one of my friends said, "Boy Becca, you sure are smiley today." I just grinned when she said that.

I think God let me feel all that weight because He wanted me to have reason to cling to Him. I forget I need God when I can handle it all. The pressure on me drove me to seek him out, to search his word, to find promises in the Scriptures and post them all over my house -so as not to forget.

I'm not trying to sound all super holy or something. I could have done a much better job through all this.

This verse came to mind today.

My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:11-12


The word DISCIPLINE usually has a negative connotation. It makes you think you have to have been disobedient to receive it.

But here is a definition I found of discipline:

dis·ci·pline : training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character


How cool is that?

How thankful am I that God loves me enough to discipline me, to perfect me. Wow. And how gracious is He that he didn't take me through some horrible situation that will leave lasting scars on me in order to teach me.

Our sins often precede discipline. Our sins ALWAYS precede negative consequences.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that God didn't let me wander off and leave him and do lots of foolish things to bring me to a place where I could grasp what he was trying to teach me.