Sunday, March 29, 2009

Another Sunday.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty.

The Lord has promised good to me.

He will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures.

Come and lay your burdens down
Before the Friend who's faithful,
Before the One who's able.

All I have in you is more than enough.

How awesome is the Lord Most High.

Today I have needed to have truth blasted into my ears.

Today I have felt so weak.

It was another Sunday. Another unobserved Sabbath.

Quick question for you Bible scholars: Does the Sabbath apply to women? (yes, I am seriously asking this). I have recently read through Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers. All about the law. What to do on the Sabbath, what not to do. It addresses lots and lots of things that are the man's responsibility: livestock, burying the dead, what work is permitted. It doesn't mention how much work the woman is supposed to do. I didn't see any mention of dealing with kids. Is that excluded? Are the women (according to the Old Testament Law) supposed to be the helper for the man -so he doesn't have to do any work on the Sabbath?

Yes, that was a serious question. Don't answer it if all you can give is your opinion.

I think all I did today is go from one job to the next. The only time I've rested is while sitting in Sunday school -and Jackson was teaching on Galatians and we had to flip around back in Acts so I'm going to consider that work as well.

Then to nursery duty, then immediately to my boys, to the car, out of the car, taking a sleeping Ty to bed, making lunch, cleaning up lunch, cleaning the kitchen (several days worth), putting Jack to bed, picking up toys, getting Ty out of bed, getting Ty lunch, cleaning the downstairs bathroom, cleaning up Jack's poop that he smeared all over the upstairs bathroom, cleaning up Jack, cleaning up poop from the carpet in Jack's room, cleaning poop off the upstairs hall, getting the boys drinks, going to pick up Jack's prescriptions at HEB, coming home, cleaning up Jack's second poopy underwear, cleaning Jack's third poopy underwear, making supper, feeding the boys, cleaning up supper, cleaning up the boys, putting them in the stroller, taking them on a walk, pushing them in the swings at the playground, walking home, changing a diaper, cleaning up spit-up off of the carpet in the boys room, putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, getting more drinks, saying goodnight.

It was unbelievable to me at one point, "How can this all be happening back-to-back-to-back"?

I honestly don't have any idea how people live without Jesus. What would the point be?
REALLY! How do they do it? I am pretty sure I would have taken my life by now if I believed that there wasn't anything more to life than just making the best of living.

I thought about that for a long time today. How do people stay married? Why wouldn't moms desert their family? Why stay in a situation where you aren't appreciated when this is all there is to life?

But this is not all there is to my life.

Why... why... why?

Here's my answer to all the "whys":

Because I love Jesus.

I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing this for Him. I want to serve Jesus because he already gave everything for me. He loves me and one day I'm going to go to heaven to live forever with Him. I serve others because I want other people to know my Jesus. I want my boys to know my Jesus.
Because without him, what is the point?

I am weary.

Today our church observed the Lord's Supper. A deacon came into the nursery with the bread and wine (juice). He asked if we wanted to partake.

I stood there with a fussy baby on my hip looking at the cup and the bread.
I thought: "I'd like to take this, but I haven't been able to sit down and examine myself to see if there is unconfessed sin in my life that I need to address and get right before taking communion."

I took it anyway.

It was the perfect picture of my life right now. Wanting to have communion with God but having so much responsibility that I can not hardly do it.

I desire to sit and rest in the arms of my God, I am being faithful to read His Word. I am not wasting time on meaningless things. This blog is the closest thing to wasting time that I do. I am serving my rear off. I am praying.

But I am struggling. I feel like there is little to no life in the Scripture I am reading. I go through it so fast that I know I am missing things. If I slow down, my mind will wander to tomorrow's chores or I will fall asleep.

If I had time to sit and think about it, I think I would be really frustrated.


Evan Brooke said...

Lady, I feel ya! I'm not dealing with poopy underwear yet though. Gross!

The abundant life is action-packed. His yoke is easier, I think because there is peace of mind and freedom, but certainly no less work!!!

Call me this week! I'll be in Texas!!!

Lawson said...

Sabbath has been something Jesus has been telling me about lately. I'll think about and study it some and let you know what comes of it.

2 Cor 12:9&10 is really good. I don't know how else you do what you do. It's amazing.