To Jack

Dear Jack,

Yesterday you, Ty and I were at the fitness center jogging. Well, I was jogging and you two boys were riding in the stroller. We went by the softball fields where people were out practicing. You told me you wanted to go play softball.

"Do you want to go play softball Mommy?" You asked.

I told you "yes."

You don't understand right now why we can't just park the stroller and go play with everyone else. You don't realize that a two-year-old doesn't have quite the arm power of a grown-up. You are young. This is a prefect example of how children and even young adults don't know and understand everything.

I want to elaborate on my answer to your question.

Jack, I would LOVE to go play softball right now instead of jogging. Back before you were born, your daddy and I would go play softball 3 nights a week. We were on two different teams and then we'd go to the field and try to be extras on someone else's team. One year we even started our own team.

I love softball. It is by far my favorite way to be active. The reason I am not playing right now is not because I'm out of shape, or because I am lazy or because I'm just too old.

It's because of you.

I have two sweet little boys that are my sole responsibility while your daddy is away. It is my job to feed you, clean you, teach you, keep you safe(ish), and nurture you.

It's a big job.

It takes up almost every moment of my day.

I would love to go play softball, but I just have other responsibilities. That's what happens when you get big. It will happen to you one day. As you grow up, I want you to try to see deep into things. I want you to see motives behind actions. I want you to look at a man who does not do cool things like: drive motor cycles, play football, watch tons of TV, hang out with friends all the time, and figure out why.

Why?

Is he too old, too lame, out of touch, boring?

Or does he have responsibilities that are more important and that take up so much of his time that he values the "fun" activities less?

Jack, don't judge without all the facts.

Yes. I want to go play softball. Maybe one day soon I will get to play again. Maybe I won't. Either way, it is ok. You and Ty, you are more important to me than making sure I get my softball fix.

Also, don't forget that for the record, I am NOT too old. I am NOT too out of shape. I am NOT too lame. At least not yet. I'll update this in about 5 years and let you know my new status.

I just love you more than I love softball --and that's saying a lot.



P.S. You and Ty are also the sole reason I drive a minivan and not a Jeep Wrangler.